No one likes to think about leaving their loved ones behind, but for people of faith, death is simply a transition from one state of being to another. Hospice eases that transition by providing comfort care for seniors with terminal diseases.
Whether you're living in your own home, looking for an assisted living community or getting ready to enter hospice care, we encourage you to discuss your end-of-life wishes with the people you trust. Follow these tips to make the process a little easier for yourself and your loved ones.
No two people feel exactly the same way about end-of-life care. Therefore, it's important to make plans based on your personal values. If you follow Christ, you may want a funeral service featuring traditional hymns, Bible readings and a sermon about how you'll be reunited with your loved ones someday.
At Bethesda Senior Living Communities, we urge seniors to talk about their wishes long before they need hospice care. Loved ones shouldn't find out what you want after you've already passed away. They need to prepare themselves to follow through with your plans and make sure you get exactly what you requested.
Even if you feel completely at peace with your decision to enter hospice care, end-of-life discussions are often difficult. These discussions tend to bring up strong emotions, so you need to prepare accordingly. Here are some tips to help you make the process as painless as possible for everyone involved.
When sharing your end-of-life wishes with others, it's important to have as much privacy as possible. Rather than holding a discussion in a crowded restaurant or busy hospital waiting area, choose a quiet room far from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
If you have an attorney, ask if you can use the conference room in their office. You can also invite family members to your assisted living unit or meet at your local church.
If you're sharing information about your health or your end-of-life plans, 5 minutes just isn't enough to get everyone on the same page and make sure your loved ones understand your needs. To have a productive discussion, set aside plenty of time to go through legal documents and answer questions.
Everyone involved in an end-of-life discussion should engage in active listening. Instead of waiting for your turn to say something, listen closely to what the other person is saying. When it's your turn to speak, paraphrase what they said to make sure you understood it.
You can also use nonverbal communication to demonstrate that you're listening. For example, if you don't want to interrupt your loved one, put your hand on their arm or lean forward and nod your head as they speak.
Children, siblings, grandchildren and other relatives may have trouble discussing your wishes. After all, they want to spend time with you for as long as they can. If your loved ones express discomfort, be respectful. Acknowledge their feelings without being dismissive.
If you're having a discussion with a loved one who's about to enter hospice care, respect their wishes. You may not agree with their plans, but remember that the discussion isn't about you. When you plan for the end of your life, you can make whatever arrangements you'd like. Now is the time to respect your loved one and commit to carrying out their wishes.
The end-of-life planning process comes with a lot of emotion, but there are many practical matters to address. Make sure you address these matters during your discussion rather than putting them off. Once everyone is aware of your wishes, they can focus on carrying them out.
During your discussion, answer the following questions:
Whether you're planning to enter hospice or already receiving hospice care, it's essential to maintain a strong support system. If possible, call your loved ones daily, meet with them on Zoom or exchange emails as often as you can. Take time to record audio or video messages for the people you love the most. Although it can be uncomfortable to discuss your end-of-life plans, it also presents a priceless opportunity to strengthen the bonds you have with friends and family members.
